The Longest Way Round
by Jixie
Summary: Officer Giertz of the robotic crimes division offers to help out Break Man— only to be tasked with instilling some functional social behaviors and basic manners into a reckless Wily 'bot. Welcome to 'Auntie Giertz's School for Wayward Robots'. A collection of shorts and ficlets.
1. Man on the Inside

**The Longest Way Round**

By Jixie

Mega Man © Capcom

* * *

\- I corralled all of my OC stuff into one fic. This story takes place over the course of, and in between, the other stories in this series. ("Things Trivial and Cherished", "Something Like Family", "War Games", "Downshift") I'm not sure how much sense it makes if you haven't read them.

\- The setting for this fic is Mandi Paugh's 'verse' (Mega Man: The Series).

\- This chapter takes place at the end of "Things of Trivial and Cherished", it was originally the epilogue.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Man on the Inside**

* * *

Officer Karen Giertz startled when she answered the door and found a young man waiting for her. They'd never met, but she instantly knew who he was. After all, that was her job.

"Oh! Ah, it's Mega Man, yeh? I guess you're not in uniform, should I call you… um…"

He grinned. "Close. His big brother, actually." He tugged at the yellow bandanna around his neck.

"Right! The scarf, right. Sorry!" She slapped her hand over her face in embarrassment.

"Hey, no problem. I'm just glad you recognized me at all." Then he chuckled. "And yeah, I'm out of uniform, but I'd still prefer 'Break Man'."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Break Man. Er, sorry, I'm being rude. Would you like to come in?"

Her apartment was small, and in a decidedly lived-in state. He glanced around, before very obviously settling his focus on her bandaged arm.

"I heard you were injured in the jailbreak, and wanted to check in on you. How's your arm?"

She looked uneasy. A little embarrassed, and a little nervous. "It, ah, it's fine. Healing nicely."

"Good. Good." He was studying her face now, and Giertz felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She couldn't see his eyes through the dark shades, but she could sense he was reading her… weighing the options and making a judgment call. What conclusion he'd come to, she hadn't the slightest.

"So, can I… can I get you anything?" It was a silly question, she knew he didn't drink or eat. "Or, um…"

"I'm fine, thank you." Break Man paused, and when he continued his tone was very even, his words calculated. "I thought you'd like to know that Mega Man wasn't able to catch your fugitive. He's going to liberate Dr. Wily once the doctor's health improves, and I suspect that EMP trick won't work next time around. So you should probably encourage using it again."

Giertz looked away. What he was suggesting…

She'd made a life-or-death decision in the heat of the moment, and she didn't regret it. To go beyond _that_, though…

In a way, she appreciated the tremendous risk that Break Man was taking by being here and even floating the idea. That she had been judged and found worthy. That he knew what had happened— whether he saw through her flimsy story, or Bass had outright told him— and instead of trying to blackmail her into anything, he was reaching out to her as an ally.

"How's he doing, anyway?" she asked finally.

"You mean aside from being a veritable dumpster fire?" He smirked. "I think this whole experience has been good for him. Character building. Apparently he's stumbled onto empathy and an appreciation for human life. I'm taking that as a win."

Slowly Giertz made her way the couch and sat down, then stared at the wall in silence for several long minutes.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Break Man asked.

She laced her fingers together, clenching her hands.

"I just… you know, I had a sense about it, right? I went to school for this stuff." She'd been young and ignorant and had made some bad calls, and life had swept her in another direction. To end up in the robotic crimes division felt like a second chance. "Then I read Dr. Light's assessment. It made me so angry— I mean, we all hate Dr. Wily, don't we? But this was different. Knowing what he's done, what he _could_ do, the… the wasted potential… it's infuriating." She sagged. "Then there's this poor dumb bloke who doesn't even know what he is, and doesn't care. I kept thinking 'he's never going to pass that test, we'll have to scrap him', and then I'd think about that whole snowstorm thing, and get angry all over again…"

Break Man nodded. Then, after a moment, he spoke. "What snowstorm thing?"

She stood, casually walked over to her computer console, and flicked one of the disks that were scattered on top so that it fell to the floor. "Whoops. I seem to have accidentally lost my copy of the report."

He grinned at her as he fetched it from the ground.

"Giertz, you can't possibly know what a relief it is to finally have a man on the inside."

Her response was pure reflex. "I'm not a man, it's just a short haircut." She unconsciously reached up to touch her hair. Then her brain caught up with what he'd said, and she started laughing, and he couldn't help but join in. "Yeh, all right. All right. Is there a way to contact you if anything—"

He patted her on her good arm.

"It doesn't work like that," he said slyly. "I contact you."

"Ah. Well, in that case. I'll keep in mind what you said about the EMP." She offered him a genuine smile. "Catch you around, Break Man."

"Blues."

"Pardon?"

"Out of uniform, my friends call me Blues."

"Karen."

"Karen, it's been a pleasure. I hope your arm heals quickly."

"Thanks, Blues. Goodbye."

Once he left Giertz made her way back to the couch, this time flopping down face-first, and screamed into one of the throw pillows. What was she _doing?_ What was she _thinking!?_

As the panic eased however, she felt a rush of giddiness.


	2. Can't Win for Losing

**2: Can't Win for Losing**

\- A/N: This chapter takes place during "Something Like Family" (specifically around "Oma (Part 1)" and "Across the Middle", at a time when Bass gets bolder about interacting with people other than Wily).

* * *

It was some time before she heard from Break Man again, and their next few interactions were minor. He was mostly looking for information, not favors, thankfully. When he finally did ask a favor, it was a very confusing request.

It was an invite to a private chat.

If the request was confusing, the chat itself was outright surreal. Then Giertz realized: he'd put her in direct communication with Bass. It took her awhile to figure out why. Initially she assumed it was for emergencies, but then realized, no… Break Man was up to something far more devious.

The way that things were set up she only ever spoke one-on-one with either of them. Some off-hand comments from Bass, however, made her realize that she wasn't the only one. Break Man had been carefully, selectively assembling a network of trusted friends to… well, apparently to socialize the other robot.

So here she was, attempting to instill some functional social behaviors and basic manners into someone who wasn't human, wasn't alive, and who's only association was _Dr_. flippin' _Wily_ for crying out loud.

Their conversations were hilariously random and absurd. Bass had a great many opinions on all sorts of things, and until now, no one to really share them with. He told her how humans shed nine pounds of dead skin cells every year, and had mites in their eyelashes to keep skin and sebum out of their eyes, and it was gross. How could anyone live like that? He made incomprehensible math jokes that as far as she could tell were the numerical equivalent of word play. Out of curiosity, she forwarded one on to Break Man, who found it funny but cheesy.

He had very strong feelings about music notes— how the measurements between notes were never calculated correctly, which is why some were half-steps and some were full steps, and that the entire 'language' was broken and they needed to scrap the whole system and start over. It came up often. When she pressed for what kind of music he liked, he was legitimately confused by the question. All of it, as it turned out. His tastes were completely indiscriminate.

He never used punctuation. When she asked, he chastised her, snarkily pointing out that he wasn't using a keyboard, and demanded to know if she used punctuation in her thoughts.

Then, completely out of the blue, one day Bass asked if he could come over. The stunned Giertz agreed. In that very second he was suddenly _in her home_, and she screamed and threw her coffee mug at him in surprise. She should've known, because teleportation, of course! But as a human who never used it, it just hadn't occurred to her.

He didn't so much as flinch when the mug shattered on his chestplate, hot coffee splattering everywhere.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I just—"

"Whatever." He was completely unbothered, and glanced around the shabby apartment. "You should get a cleaning robot. I could have Wily—"

"No thank you," she said firmly. Oh, a Wily 'bot in her home, surely that would never backfire. "Desirée's out on a conference, she usually does the house chores." It was a sad excuse. "Uhh… here, have a seat…"

The couch groaned in protest, and too late she realized that— yes, robots weigh a great deal more than humans. It was a mistake.

Awkward silence followed. Giertz looked at Bass, and he looked at her, and… nothing. It was decidedly uncomfortable.

"You're damaged," she said.

He _was_ in rough shape. Armor scarred by multiple plasma burns, a tear on the outside of his thigh large enough to give a glimpse of the hydraulics and circuitry below, and his right shoulder was cocked in a way that indicated something was out of alignment.

"Eh, it's nothing."

"'You should've seen the other guy'," Giertz quipped.

Bass did a double take, failing to get the joke. "Yeah… I gave him a hard time." He paused. "I usually go to one of the old fortress ruins, after. Blow off some steam."

"But this time is different, because…?"

"I don't know," he replied truthfully. "It just… I don't know." When he shrugged the wonky shoulder made an unpleasant metal scraping sound, but Bass didn't seem to notice.

In the end, he simply wasn't prepared to talk about whatever it was. Even though 'whatever' clearly was 'lost to Mega Man, _yet again_'. Giertz thought it better not to press.

"This was a stupid idea. I don't know why I came here."

"Well, maybe. But I'm— it—" What she wanted to say was that she was glad he trusted her enough to come. That awkward as this was, he'd been willing to _try_ to confide in someone. It felt like progress. She might be looking too much into things, but… yeah, it felt like progress. "I'm glad you did. You're welcome any time, you know, as long as you can behave."

"Yeah right. I'll have you know I never behave."

After Bass left, Giertz realized that she'd made a terrible mistake. What if he took her up on that offer? It's not like Desirée would conveniently be on a trip the next time. What on earth was she going to tell Des?


	3. damage

**3: damage**

\- A/N: This chapter takes place during "War Games" chapter 2 "Here Goes Nothing", when Bass disappeared for a few hours after being rescued and repaired.

* * *

The next time Bass came to Giertz's apartment it was unannounced.

He didn't appear damaged, but one look and Giertz knew something terrible had happened.

Desirée froze for a second before bolting for the bedroom— as if there were any safe place to hide— but stopped when she saw Giertz hadn't moved. "Karen?"

"It's alright, Des." Hesitantly, Giertz got up from her computer and approached the distraught black and gold robot. "Hey there. You okay?"

"Which one's this?" asked Desirée. "Isn't… isn't that one of Dr. Wily's?"

Giertz tried to give her a look of reassurance. "This is, um, this is Bass. Bass, Desirée."

He didn't respond, but he glanced at Desirée— doe-eyed, a halo of untamed curls around her face, and generous hips— and gave a curt nod, before turning his attention back to Giertz.

"Do you still have that explosive blaster? Here?"

"Y-yeh… why?"

Rather unexpectedly, he ripped off his helmet and flung it, gouging the floor where it landed. Then he stalked over and threw himself onto the couch, lying on his side with his back to her and arms clutched protectively across his chest. There was a loud crack as the couch frame gave up on life, and she winced at the sound. The sad thing was, he wasn't even trying to be destructive, it was completely incidental.

"If a red robot comes here, shoot him. Don't ask questions, don't get cute, just. Shoot to kill."

"Not, um, not Break Man?"

This earned an irate growl. "No, not _Break Man_, you dumb—" Then he caught himself and fell silent.

Giertz looked over a Desirée, who hadn't moved since. "Des, my dear, could you…?" She drifted off as she realized she didn't know _what_ she wanted Desirée to do. Put on some tea? Get a blanket? Break out the whiskey?

How do you comfort a machine?

"Chopin's 'Raindrops'," Desirée suggested, already ahead of her.

"Attagirl." Giertz went to fetch the blaster, pulled on the holster, then made her way to the couch. Bass was staring at the back cushions with laser focus, and didn't move when she approached. She sat down in the crook behind his knees and placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"I can't feel that," he snapped.

"No, but you can feel the meaning behind it."

She expected more protest, and was surprised when he simply nodded.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the haunting piano music expressing what words could not.

"Do you want to be alone?" Giertz asked finally.

"No."

He made a sound that imitated a sharp exhale, and suddenly Giertz was very much aware of the fact that robots were physically incapable of tears. She shuddered.

Desirée appeared with shot glass in hand, realizing that Giertz needed the boost herself. She took it gratefully, and smiled when Raindrops ended and Debussy's 'Clair de Lune' began. Desirée had queued up a playlist. 'Thank you,' Giertz mouthed silently.

It must have been an hour before Bass spoke again.

"Do I have Wily delete it?"

"Sorry?"

He sat up.

"This memory. I'm not thinking about it, but I can't _stop_ thinking about it. I don't access it, but then it's playing. I don't— I just want to delete it. But if I do, it means that I'm not strong enough to handle it."

"What a load of rubbish. You're the strongest robot I know."

That earned a look of disdain. She knew things were bad because Bass usually ate up flattery, no matter how sincere or believable it was.

"So you haven't met Mega Man, then."

Ouch.

"Oh, he's tough, I'll give him that. He has a lot of support though. I don't think he could do what you do with just Dr. Wily on his side."

Bass said nothing, but he seemed to like that idea.

Giertz clucked her tongue consolingly. "What happened, tin man?"

The fact that he'd mentioned Dr. Wily in the present meant that the mad scientist was alive, and which was honestly a little disappointing. It also meant something _else_ had happened. The lack of physical damage and the way he'd been shielding the area his central processor was located… if she had to venture to guess, someone had been proverbially screwing with his head.

Yet he wasn't giving anything up. She changed the topic.

"I thought your armor didn't come off."

"It doesn't. Just the helmet."

"Well that sucks. Wily's slacking, you can tell him I said so." This got an eye roll, but at least he seemed distracted from whatever was bothering him. She reached to grab a lock of hair. "Interesting color choice."

Desirée— who'd made herself scarce— returned with popcorn. "Oh, I like it, matches the face tattoos." She was really taking this all in stride.

"Yeah," Bass said, absently touching one of the purple streaks below his eye. "It does."

With a playful smile, she handed Giertz the bowl and took a seat on the other side of the robot. The couch shifted and sagged. "Well, I don't know about you two, but when my day's been an absolute trainwreck, the only thing that helps is a good romcom. What do you think, Kare? 'Moonlight Kisses' or 'The Rural Juror'?"

"Ugh, neither."

"What's a 'romcom'?"

The couch shifted under them again, and Giertz suggested they move to the floor. After two hours of banal, mindless entertainment, Bass announced that 'The Rural Juror' was the best movie he'd ever seen. When Giertz suggested it was the _only_ movie he'd ever seen, he'd scoffed. It was in fact the _third_. Which really just raised so many questions, all of which were: 'Bass has watched a movie before?'

Desirée had been right, though, and it was sufficient distraction that he left in considerably better spirits than he'd arrived.

"Karen… what the heck just happened?" Desirée asked, once Bass was gone.

She wasn't sure how to answer. "I… I don't know." She hesitated before continuing. "Thanks for being such a trouper."

"Oh, you owe me big time." Then she grinned, throwing one arm across Giertz's shoulders and giving her a playful pinch with her free hand. "I've seen that one on the netnews, he's a delinquent. I take it you two met at work?"

"Yes, something like that."

There was a strange twinkle in Desirée's eyes.

"Well? Tell me all about this terrible robot child we seem to've adopted."

God.

Where to even start?

* * *

\- A/N: Zero actually did a bunch of different things to him but the one really messed him up.

\- Don't know what the story is on the first two movies, but I'd like to think that Break Man snuck Bass into a theater at least once.

\- I debated posting this one because I'm a believer in "less is more", but at the same time I like this chapter. What do you think?


	4. Product May Burn Your House Down

**4: Warning: Product Might Burn Your House Down**

\- A/N: This chapter takes place shortly after "War Games" chapter 7 "Scramble".

* * *

"I don't mean to sound stupid, but what you're saying doesn't make sense."

Giertz exhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Okay. Okay. See, the human brain uses electrical signals to—"

"_Karen_. I get that. It's just— I may not know robots, but I know _people_… and you keep saying he's 'not alive' but…"

"Let me put it this way. Bass doesn't have a soul."

Desirée's eyebrows shot up. "I thought you didn't believe in souls?"

"Agh. I— I _don't_— it—" She leaned forward, burying her head in her hands. "Let me think about this."

After a minute, she'd come up with something.

"Alright then," said Giertz. "Think of it this way. Humans are like a fireplace, right? And— and _life_ is the fire. Then a bioroid— Mega Man and Break Man— would be like… a gas fire. A different means, but the same flame and warmth that the wood fireplace has got."

"Okay…"

"A normal robot is like one of those 'cozy fireplace background' vids you play during the holidays. The vid looks and sounds just like the real thing, but there's no flame, no heat, nothing real about it. Then Bass would be… I don't know… an electric heater." She smirked. "Still no fire, but it blows a lot of hot air and might burn your house down."

"Ha. Well, as far as analogies go, it's not terrible. It kind of makes sense," said Desirée. "…Where's that 'Zero' jerk fit into all this?"

Giertz shuddered slightly. Zero had attacked her and Sergent Jahveri, after doing what no robot had done before: intentionally taking human lives. He was both incredible and terrifying, a technological marvel like no other, a force of destruction that may very well doom them all. The past few weeks had been a flurry of activity in their tiny department, even though frankly, there wasn't much they could do about it. Once again they were depending on Mega Man— along with Break Man and Bass— to save the day.

"Umm… Zero, right. I suppose he'd be like those artificial fireplaces, with the electric heater and red lamp and plastic logs."

"And crinkly foil effects."

"Yeh."

Desirée laughed, then grew somber, reaching out to take Karen's hand. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine."

That, or they were all going to die soon in a violent robot revolution. It was hard to tell at this point.


	5. Ongoing Maintenance

**5: Ongoing Maintenance**

-A/N: This chapter takes place six months after "War Games".

* * *

As far as Mega Man and the rest of the world were concerned, Bass disappeared for a couple years after Dr. Wily's death. To Break Man, Karen and Desirée Giertz, Katelyn 'Lyric' Paugh, Rodriguez, Pulaski, Latoya, and the others in Break Man's meticulously curated network, that was hardly the case.

"You took robotics in school, right?"

It had been six months, and she had so many questions that she knew better than to ask.

"Yeh, what's up?"

"I'm having some sort of intermittent power issue. My energy store is full, but I'll get these weird brown-outs or low energy alerts…"

"Well…" Giertz rubbed the back of her head, mussing her hair. "You know, Bass, I… I never finished my degree, and that was a long time ago, and… I can't even begin to scratch the surface of Dr. Wily's depths."

He shrugged. "But you know your way around a soldering iron."

"Okay. Yes. I can take a look, at least." She cracked her knuckles, then headed for the kitchen. "Best lighting's in here."

Even with the bright kitchen lights, she ended up needing a flashlight.

"Ugh, didn't Wily ever teach you personal hygiene?"

Bass looked amused. "That's a _human_ problem."

"Look here, you lunkhead. You're full of— is this _sand?_ And there's dust everywhere!" She switched off the flashlight and turned to holler at the bedroom. "Des? Des, where's the vacuum cleaner at?" Then Giertz glanced back at Bass. "Good grief, it's a blooming mess in there. Tsk. What sort of machine lubricant did Wily use?"

Desirée graciously ran out for supplies while Giertz did her best to vacuum around cables and circuit boards and hydraulics. She was relieved when Desirée returned with a much needed portable air-compressor. By some miracle, she managed to avoid making any terrible innuendo jokes. Not even one.

Bass patiently let her clean, but when she went to replace his coolant fluid he snatched her hand.

"I can take care of that."

She raised an eyebrow, fixing him with a questioning look. "I've got to drain the old before adding the new."

"Yeah, well, I'll do it."

Giertz chuckled. "Oh, _now_ you're bashful?" There had never been any indication that he was anything but one hundred percent shameless. It was ridiculous, especially given how arbitrary he was about what was or wasn't embarrassing.

When she finally got to work, she found the problem quickly.

"There's some corrosion here around the power supply connections. I can clear this up, and replace some of these capacitors, but I think… I think this is something that'll be an ongoing maintenance issue."

"Show me."

"Sure. You're always welcome to stop by for the whole 'spa treatment', though. I don't mind."

"That's right!" Desirée said. "We'd love it if you visited more often."

He scoffed. "You don't really mean that."

"Of _course_ I do." She walked over and patted his cheek, and Bass jerked back, staring at her in utter bewilderment.

"Don't patronize me."

"She's not being patronizing," Giertz said. "She's being _affectionate_. I bet that's a new one for ya, hm?"

It was. He didn't know how to react.

After Giertz finished the repairs, Bass was in no particular hurry to leave. "That's new," he said, noticing their replacement couch for the first time.

"We had to get it 'cause you broke the old one," Desirée teased.

"Heh. I did, didn't I?" He chuckled, and then: "Sorry."

Giertz had to grab the counter as she reeled in shock, staring wide-eyed at the robot.

On the other hand, Desirée was innocent, and had no clue the monumental significance of what she'd just witnessed. "Oh, that's alright. It was an accident."

When Bass finally left, Giertz couldn't get to the com fast enough. She left Break Man a frantic, barely-legible message.

} He appologized! ! ! ! fOR THE COUCH! ! ! ! !

* * *

-A/N: I'm pretty sure that's the first time he's apologized to anyone for anything. We're 66K words into the series, folks. Also, I forgot the couch was a running joke of sorts and goofed it up with chapter 4, so just pretend that one takes place with them conversing on the new one.

-Ugh, the things FFN makes me do to work around their weird formatting rules.


	6. Gladiatorial Robot Death Matches

**6: Gladiatorial Robot Death Matches**

\- A/N: This and the next couple chapters take place between "War Games" and "Downshift".

\- Katelyn 'Lyric' and Sean © Mandi Paugh

* * *

Somewhere along the line, Karen and Desirée's apartment had become the central hub for secret underground robot activities.

Break Man was an increasingly frequent guest. He'd insisted that it was strictly for Bass, and that he didn't like playing video games, or watching sports, or being forced to sit through romantic comedies… but they easily saw through that ruse.

Katelyn and her boyfriend Sean both still lived with family and couldn't invite anyone over to their respective homes.

Pulaski was just a sad, lonely man.

…And so forth.

As a result, they found themselves hosting yet another battle 'bots view-a-thon. It was the playoffs, how could they say no? Katelyn and Sean were camped out on the couch, a tangle of limbs and youthful clinginess. Bass stood behind them, leaning against the back cushion. Break Man, Rodriguez, Desirée, and Giertz herself were scattered on the floor in front of them.

It was a nail-biting round. Sean and Desirée, the two biggest fans, were both screaming at their chosen champion— on opposite sides— as the clock counted down.

"Would you chill?" Bass asked, completely nonchalant.

"I can't believe you're not invested in this," Break Man said. "Isn't gladiatorial robot death matches your whole 'thing'?"

"Pffh. You know those fights are fixed, right?"

Break Man chuckled. "It's entertainment. Turn off your brain and be entertained."

"How—?"

"Not literally," said Katelyn. "He means don't think about it, just enjoy it."

"That's stupid."

Afterwards, as Desirée danced around victorious, Giertz attempted to get a head count for next time. "Is everyone coming here for the championship game? I need to know how much pizza to order."

"I can't eat pizza."

"This may come as a surprise, but yes, I'm well aware of your dietary restrictions," Giertz said, teasing. "It'll be symbolic pizza for you and Break Man."

"Oh, I'm not going to make it. I promised Mega Man I'd be there for the championship."

Desirée paused her celebration to be endeared. "Aww, that's sweet."

Bass rolled his eyes.

"You know Bass," said Break Man, "Mega Man would be thrilled if you dropped in."

"Ugh, I would rather _die_." It wasn't like he'd grown accustomed to that blue pipsqueak to any degree, or that some part of him missed him a tiny bit. Especially not the sparring and battles. It wasn't like he considered Mega Man the only worthy opponent he'd ever had. No, nothing like that. "Anyway, I'm an errant Wily robot. Your goody-goody brother would have to turn me in."

"What's this?" Giertz asked. "You… you do remember I'm police, yeh? Specifically the robot crime division?"

"That's different."

She was dumbfounded. "I— I'm literally the person he would call."

"How exactly is it different?" Sean asked, knowing full well that Bass didn't have an actual answer.

In a moment of surprising candor, he replied with, "I was built by Wily, which means I'm capable of inhuman levels of cognitive dissonance."

No one could argue that.


	7. Interlude with Mega Man

**7: Interlude with Mega Man**

* * *

While Break Man's posse couldn't visit Katelyn's parent's house, Mega Man could… and on occasion, he did. They had a sort of tradition where she would try to cajole him into joining the fanclub chat, and he would dismiss her.

"Come oooooon," Lyric pleaded. "Join us. Join us! You know you want to."

Mega Man shrugged. "Sorry Lyric, it just feels… well… I like your friends but the fawning is a little…"

"Oh, they'll get over it, and then you'll just be one of the gang." She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "C'mon, even Bass is on the chat." This was a calculated risk. One that Break Man would surely kick her butt over.

"No he's not."

"Yeah, in fact, what time is it? I bet he's there now. Check it out." She dragged him over to her computer terminal, keying up the network chat. There was a lively conversation about the newest installment of Dusk Saga going on. "See that one, 'Forte'? Bass."

forte: team edwin you inbred clowns  
forte: their love is pure  
forte: and im also a soulless immortal so naturally i empathize with the vampires

Mega Man glanced at the screen, and then turned to give Lyric an amused, quizzical look.

"Forte?"

Lyric laughed. "I think he got sick of explaining it's _'base'_, as in the musical term. 'Cause out of context…"

"There's no way, Lyric. I'm sorry, but you've got a fraud pretending to be someone they're not."

She started typing furiously, determined to prove him wrong.

~*Lyric*~: Bass, guess who's here! Mega Man! He doesn't think you're you. Say something only you two would know.

There was a brief pause before the response came.

forte: tell mega dork  
forte: no  
forte: haha

Mega Man placed a comforting hand on Lyric's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lyric, but that's _clearly_ a troll. He's just messing with you."

"Oh, he's a troll alright."

~*Lyric*~: He's still not a believer.  
~*Lyric*~: Come on, prove yourself to Mega Man.

forte: hmmmm nope i got nothing to prove to that loser  
forte: did you check out sick ducks new album _invasive species_ yet

Lyric was distracted at that point, getting into a heated debate about whether or not the band's new direction was a good move.

Then, rather abruptly, the user 'Forte' said:

forte: hey lyr tell that blue twerp  
forte: youve been nothing but a disappointment  
forte: but it could be worse  
forte: you couldve been mega man

She looked over her shoulder at Mega Man, who was absolutely stunned. "What's it mean?"

~*Lyric*~: Hah! He didn't say anything, but he looks like someone who just crapped their pants.

Bass responded with a string of characters that weren't any coding Mega Man could recognize.

"What programming language is that?" he asked.

"Oh! It's not— it's, um, text pictures. See, that one's a sideways smiling face." She pointed at the screen. "That's a face sticking its tongue out. And that last one's… um… that's a very rude one."

"Yeah, I get it." Mega Man was quiet for a moment, then he pushed his way between Lyric and the keyboard.

~*Lyric*~: Where are you Bass? What have you been up to?

forte: oh you know around  
forte: being awesome

For a moment Lyric was afraid Mega Man would start screaming and tearing out his hair. He pursed his lips, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

~*Lyric*~: This is not a game!

forte: hey dummy its so rude to take over someone elses account

"You know, I can get you set up with your own user account…"

She laughed nervously. Of course, it was infuriating and she didn't want anyone commandeering her keyboard, even if it was Mega Man. But she saw the distress in his eyes and wasn't going to say anything. It was almost a relief that Bass immediately figured out what was going on and so bluntly pointed out the faux pass.

Mega Man didn't even acknowledge her.

~*Lyric*~: Please.  
~*Lyric*~: At least let me know if you're okay?

forte: id be better if _invasive species_ wasnt trash

"Ugh! What is your defect?" Mega Man paused for a second, then typed that.

"He's a troll," Lyric said. "Bass is a net troll. How are you surprised."

Which earned a groan. "Look, Lyric, he's been off-grid and… I don't know. I don't know! I'm worried, and what he said earlier doesn't make me feel any better, and…" He sagged.

~*Lyric*~: Ugh! What is your defect?

forte: well first of all i was built by a super villain  
forte: second of all  
forte: actually its pretty much the first thing

Mega Man looked solemnly at the screen, unable to carry on with this chicanery. Lyric squeezed her arms in front of him, typing from a terribly awkward angle.

~*Lyric*~: Hey I'm back. You've really upset him.

forte: good

~*Lyric*~: Stop being terrible.

forte: never  
forte: hey i have to run  
forte: tell him don't try to track me your bro got me scramble tech ha

"Darn it, Break Man!"

Mega Man stepped away, quietly looking around Lyric's room, although it was obvious he wasn't actually paying any attention to anything.

"Lyric, what he said earlier was the last thing Wily ever said to him. It makes me think that… I don't think he's doing well."

She was quiet for a few moments, and when she spoke, it was hesitant.

"Well, he admitted Break Man was helping him out. You know how your brother is. I'm sure he's made sure that jerkwad is okay."

"You're right," he said with a sigh.

"And who knows? Maybe Break Man even gets help from friends… to keep tabs on a certain outlaw robot."

Mega Man turned slowly to look at her.

"Maybe. But you wouldn't know anything about that."

"Nope, sure wouldn't."

He shook his head.

"What do you think, Lyric?"

"Honestly? I can't believe any of us _ever_ thought he was cool." She chuckled. "And… he's doing better than he was."

It was a small comfort, but it was a comfort nevertheless.

* * *

\- A/N: I was really on the fence about posting this one, too, but lucky (?) for you I'm a little tipsy and what the heck. This is my first attempt at representing chat / texting!

\- In my heart of hearts I have a terrible feeling that the 'Dusk Saga' movies are his favorites, but that it's also a very love/hate thing.

\- Fake band name & album runner ups: Cobra Chicken's "Chaotic Evil", Fairoat Punks' "A Grain of Salt", "Can't Remember How This Ends", "Mom Did It", "Bridges and Tunnels".

\- Katelyn 'Lyric' © Mandi Paugh


	8. Pressure

**8: Pressure**

* * *

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Desirée asked.

"Shoot," Bass replied.

Giertz held her breath. She had no idea where this was going.

"You said you can't feel things— touch, you can't feel touch. Then how do you know you're holding something, or if you've walked into something, or… I don't know, that your feet are on the ground?"

"The same way the auto-safety in your hovercar knows to break before you hit the guy in front of you." He was amused by the question and clearly hoping for follow-ups. After all, Bass's favorite subject was himself.

"Oh," she said, as if that explained everything. There was a three second pause. "I have no idea how the hovercar knows that. I honestly never even thought about it."

"Proximity sensors. A bunch of different proximity sensors. Electromagnetic, ultrasonic, oh—" Bass shifted his weight to balance on his left leg, and brought the right leg up, bent so that his ankle rested against the left knee. Then he pointed to a spot on the sole of his foot. "See that?"

She could not. Desirée got closer and looked harder, and still couldn't see anything. She inched in closer until her nose nearly touched his heel.

Giertz found herself hoping that Bass hadn't suddenly developed an inclination to pull pranks.

"The dot?" Desirée asked.

It was impossibly small, a divot the size of a pencil tip. There were a number of them scattered about.

"Light transmitter. If my feet are on the ground: dark. Off the ground: hey, light!"

Desirée pursed her lips, eyebrows raised, and after a moment she burst out laughing. "Are you seriously saying that you have eyes on the bottom of your feet?"

"They're not _eyes_, you goof."

Out of curiosity Giertz tried standing on one leg the same way, and found that she had to sway to keep her balance. He made it look easy. 'Showoff,' she thought. "How long can you stand like that?"

He put his right leg down and straightened up. "Forever, I guess." He shrugged, then returned his attention to Desirée. "Full disclosure… there's pressure sensor arrays in my hands so I don't crush things when holding them. All they do is pressure, though. I can't tell if something is smooth or coarse, hot or cold…"

"Tsk. That's a shame. Can't someone..?" She drifted off as she realized what she was saying.

"Nope," said Bass.

"Yes," said Giertz.

"The amount of work it would take for _that_ kind of overhaul?" He gave her an uneasy look. "It would be easier, and more cost effective, to build an entirely new robot from scratch."

"Why build a new robot when we've got a perfectly good one right here?" Giertz countered.

Bass didn't reply right away, and when he did, it was with an exasperated sigh. "Good luck finding someone to do the job. It pays nothing and they'll have to supply all the equipment and materials. Wily's dead and Dr. Light— no offense to Dr. Light, but _heck no_."

"Never say never," Desirée said cheerfully.

"'Never say…'? Dee, do you ever listen to yourself?" Bass asked.

"Oh, lay off of her," Giertz said. "We can't _all_ be aggressively pessimistic sourpusses."

"I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. The glass isn't half empty or half full… it's twice as big as it needs to be."

Desirée laughed.

…and Giertz went for the dunk.

"No, you're a selective optimist, far too positive when it comes to your fighting skills."

His face fell. "Listen, smart-alec. Why don't you go take a hike."

She responded by walking over, and with a playful grin she grabbed his hand, lightly squeezing.

"Pressure, eh? That's something."

Bass was still bewildered whenever he was confronted with any sort of display of affection, so he just stood there are stared at her for a few moments.

"It is," he said finally. "Not much, but… yeah. It's something."

* * *

-A/N: Actual science? In _my_ Mega Man fic?

\- Not counting the Interlude, this is where I had to officially throw in the towel on the couch thing, I just couldn't figure out how to work it in that wasn't really ham-fisted.


	9. Office Gossip

**9: Office Gossip**

\- A/N: Ayy, we're caught up! This and the following chapter take place during "Downshift" chapter 1.

* * *

Sergeant Jahveri made a deep choking sound and proceeded to spit-take his coffee all over the computer terminal.

"Jeez!" Officer Nedry jumped out of his seat, partly out of surprise, partly to avoid the ricochet.

"I got you covered," said Giertz, coming to the rescue with the preposterous stash of paper napkins she kept in her desk. Oh, how they had made fun of her. But _who's laughing now?_

Jahveri took a handful of napkins and started wiping off his uniform while Giertz frantically mopped up the drenched computer.

"What was that about?" Nedry asked.

To their surprise, Jahveri looked pointedly at Giertz and ignored Nedry. "Is it true?"

"Er, is what true, sir?"

"This." He gestured at the screen. "What this says about Dr. Cossack."

She tried to play innocent. "Ohh, I dunno, what… ah, what about Dr. Cossack?" This was a mistake, he'd already told her she was a terrible liar.

He fixed Giertz with a steely gaze until she crumbled under the pressure.

"Ah, yeh. Yeh you read that right."

"What about Dr. Cossack?" asked Nedry. "What's it say? What's going on?" He muscled his way past them to read the report.

"Well," said Jahveri.

"Well," repeated Giertz.

"Hey, that 'bot is one of Dr. Wily's heavy hitters. We caught it a few years back, remember? It escaped before we—"

"Of course we remember, Nedry," Jahveri said, and sighed. "Giertz was _shot_ during the jailbreak." He was still focused on her.

She squirmed under the scrutiny.

"Oh! That's right. Sorry Giertz. Are you—"

Jahveri cut him off again. "And somehow that robot always managed to keep _just_ out of reach after that. No matter how close we got, we never managed to recapture him. Somehow."

"I was saying…" Nedry was growing irate at being talked over. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeh, yeh I'm fine," she replied absently. "If, uh, if he's been reprogrammed. Then, it… it'll be fine."

Nedry was not exactly the most socially graceful, and he completely failed to pick up the tone of the room, much less read between the lines of what Jahveri had said. "Man, you couldn't pay me to take a refurbished Wily 'bot. Who knows what sort of insidious murder routines are hidden in its coding? You'd never be able to root of that all out."

"But what if he was sentient?" Giertz said a little too quickly. "It's not like— it's not like getting a used hovercar, Nedry, this would be saving a life."

"Riiight. Like rescuing a vicious pit bull from a dog fighting ring— and then the darn thing mauls you."

"Hush, you. The owner is the problem, not the dog. Rescues can be socialized and trained, and— there's nothing wrong with them."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, they're great. Until they _eat your face_."

"Weren't we talking about robots?" Jahveri asked.

With a weary sigh, Giertz turned and headed out of the office. "I'm going to get you some more coffee, Sarge."

After a few moments he followed her.

"I want to make sure she makes it right."

"…Don't you drink it black?"

But Jahveri was already out the door.

He caught up with her in the hallway. "I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thanks."

"I'll have to remember to give Dr. Cossack my condolences."

Giertz laughed. "It's just a temporary arrangement. Now that he's free of Wily's controls, Bass can take the test and be responsible for his own self."

There was a pause before he replied.

"It can't believe I'm saying this, but it's… a relief to see how things are shaking out."

"You have no idea," Giertz said, grinning from ear to ear.


	10. Failed Expectations

**10: Failed Expectations**

* * *

"We should throw a party."

Giertz raised her eyebrows and gave Desirée a questioning look. "No?"

"Aw, come on. It's a big deal. And it's not like he gets birthday parties or does holidays—" Although she'd tried really hard to get Bass to join them for each and every major holiday, he always declined.

"Des. You know you just want an excuse to plan a surprise party."

"What? No, it's…"

Who was she kidding?

Desirée sagged a little. "Okay, you got me." But then she perked up. "So what? Kare Bear, it'll be his first. And you know he loves attention, it'll be great."

Giertz shook her head.

"Why not? Tell me what you're thinking."

"It just… this is… it's really serious, you know…"

"You think I don't take this seriously?"

"I'm not saying that. I just…" She exhaled slowly. "You're excited about what this means for Bass, and that's great. All I can think about is the broader implications… what this means for law enforcement, for legal precedents, for society…"

"That's your 'at work' brain talking. We need your 'at home, family' brain right now." She cocked her head to the side. "Besides, I thought Mega Man and Break Man already cleared all those 'firsts' hurdles."

"They're alive. It's different."

"So you keep saying. Personally? I really don't see a difference. And if I'm being honest, most people won't see one either."

Desirée was right, although sadly, not for the reasons she meant. As far as she was concerned Bass was a person, alive or not. Unfortunately _most_ people would look at it as Mega Man and Break Man were robots— not persons, alive or not.

Aside from that, Giertz had also been thinking about how they needed some kind of in between legal protection for robots. If they could be self-aware and capable of emotions, but not fully independent… how was that different from small children or pets, who weren't legally responsible for their actions, but still had certain protections and inalienable rights?

She had a distant look in her eyes, and Desirée wrapped her arms around her.

"Des, I just… I'm sorry. It just doesn't feel right. There'll be plenty of other opportunities for a party. For now… I don't think it's the right move."

"Okay, if it's really bugging you that much, we'll skip it." She planted a quick kiss on Giertz's cheek.

A week later, when Bass failed the test, she was grateful that Giertz had talked her out of it.

He'd taken off, afterwards, going with Mega Man and Break Man to who-knows-where, looking for trouble to get into. Instead of celebrating, Karen and Desirée found themselves at their favorite sandwich shop— a third generation family owned little hole-in-the-wall with decor that hadn't been updated since the mid-60's— for comfort food.

"So what happens next?"

"Eh… well… that's up to Dr. Cossack."

Somber and contemplative, Desirée ran her thumb along the rim of her mug. She'd brought her own fancy herbal blend tea bag from home, a mellow contrast to Giertz's coffee addiction. "What's he like?"

"I've only met him briefly, through work. And that was a few years ago. Seems like a nice guy." French fries arrived, and she started picking at them. "I take that back— he _is_ a good man. Everything he's done so far has been really selfless. It's not like he's getting paid for this work, and the responsibility he took on… even if it was just supposed to be a stop-gap… it was no small thing."

"Do you think…? Does— does he even want…?"

"Hey, what scientist is going to turn down a free robot?" Giertz joked. It fell flat. She grabbed another fry, only to start prodding at the other fries with it. "I don't know."

"Could we…" Desirée hesitated, searching for the right words. "Could we give Bass a home, if Dr. Cossack doesn't want him?"

Giertz ate the fry that she'd been futzing around with. There was a sort of aggression, her jaw twitching as she chewed a little too hard. "Doubt it," she said finally. "Des, Bass isn't just a robot, he's a weapon. Not just any weapon, an incredibly powerful, possibly very dangerous one."

"Who you invited into our home without ever mentioning it to me first."

Desirée was teasing, but she also had a point. Giertz angrily devoured a few more fries before responding.

"I never would've done it if I thought for a second he was actually a threat. But that's not the point. If he fell into the wrong hands—"

"Like Dr. Wily's?"

She facepalmed. "Yes. Like Dr. Wily. You don't have to convince _me_, okay? I'm saying from legal standpoint… as a police officer I'm licensed to own and carry nonlethal weapons, and the only reason I have the explosive blaster is because our standard kit is useless against robots. I can't just go out and buy a rocket launcher."

"This is so unfair." Desirée started rapping her fingers against the table. "It's not fair, Karen. It's not."

"Des…"

"He's not a weapon."

"Yeh, but he kinda _is_."

The conversation was momentarily interrupted when their meals arrived… only to sit there untouched. Giertz studied Desirée, who gazed absently into the distance.

"What if— what if this Dr. Cossack decides to sell him off? Or to take him apart to reverse engineer him? To— to reprogram him into something else?"

"After all he's done so far, I very much doubt he'd do any of those things."

"But he _could_."

Giertz glared at her plate. "Okay, yes. He could. If anything, I think he'd— he might— hand over him to Dr. Light. If only to keep him out of, you know, out of trouble."

There was an uneasy pause.

"Do you think Bass could be disarmed?"

"Maybe? I can tell you right now, though, that robot would rather die than to lose his weapons system."

Desirée nodded glumly.

There was nothing left for them to do but wait and see what would happen.


	11. Ruins of a Softer World

**11: Ruins of a Softer World**

\- A/N: Spoilers for Downshift chapter... IDK... 4 or 5, which hasn't been posted yet, but you already know it's coming so...

* * *

"'I will always love you, or anyway… I will always have loved you now.'" Break Man whispered the dialogue along with the movie as he watched it for the 'he'd never admit'-th time. Say what you would, the climax was an emotional roller coaster.

While music was a free-for-all, Bass had a very specific taste in movies, with a strong preference for romance. It had sparked a running bet. Break Man was pretty sure it was just a result of positive association. Giertz believed it was like a teenager's morbid fascination with death, his way of exploring a concept he understood logically but couldn't experience first-hand. Desirée was convinced he could, but just hadn't met anyone who he was attracted to yet.

As for Break Man himself… he was capable of romance, and possibly more, although he hadn't really begun to delve into those things. When it came to entertainment however, he couldn't stand the genre, especially not the dreaded romcom. He was a mystery and thrillers guy all the way. But he watched more movies at the Giertz's than he did at Dr. Light's, where the popular majority— or at least, the most vocal and demanding— always won. Having been subjected to an untold number of mushy love flicks, he was bound to discover one or two diamonds in the rough.

Bass started digging on him the moment he arrived. "'Ruins of a Softer World'? _Again?_ I thought you said you hate—"

"Shhhh," he replied, gesturing for silence.

There was no chance of him watching his favorite scene in peace, not now. Desirée twisted around and practically climbed over the red and gray robot. "Bass! Are they done? They're done, right?"

His civilian outfit stuck to the black and gray color scheme, and he'd kept the outlandish purple hair along with matching slashes under his eyes.

Desirée burst out in a fit of giggles. "Oh, look at you. If I was ten years younger and straight…"

"More like twenty years younger," said Giertz, as she stepped out from the kitchen. Desirée blew a raspberry at her.

"Guys." Break Man sounded tired. "I'm trying to watch this."

"I do not look like a child," Bass said.

"Yeah, you kind of do."

"Mega Man looks like a child. Break and Roll look like children. And I'm taller than all of them."

At that point Break Man stood and turned to face him, lowering his shades and glaring over them. "By a whopping _two inches_. What was it you said again, 'it's not just your height, it's the eyes, and head-to-body ratio'?"

"Don't hate on me, take up your height grievances with Dr. Light."

"How old are you, anyway?" Desirée asked.

"Chronologically?" Break Man answered before Bass could. "Nine. Emotionally? Half that. Intellectually? Old enough to know better."

"Very funny, Break Man." Then he said to Desirée, "It's not as clean-cut for robots, but I'm an adult."

She didn't seem to buy it. Break Man very pointedly and deliberately shook his head 'no'.

"Don't be fooled," Giertz said. "Technology years are like dog years. Nine in tech terms means he's an ancient clunker."

His face fell. "You guys are supposed to be on my side."

"Says who?" Then she grinned. "Aw, we're just busting your chops. You look adorable."

"I am _not_ adorable! I'm a combat robot. Built for destruction!"

"Oh no," said Desirée. "It's even cuter when he gets angry."

"_Urgghhh!_"

* * *

"A Softer World" and the opening quote © E Horne and J Comeau

\- Damn this chapter for making me put any kind of number on my intentionally nebulous timeline.

\- It's an accident that there was the same kind of height joke around the same time on two different fics, but I'm sticking with it. As a member of the five-even club, I can say that the shorter you are the more every inch counts.

\- Pffft Bass and his preposterous lies. An adult he ain't. XD


	12. Chance Encounter

**12: Chance Encounter**

* * *

At first, inviting Bass without telling him Mega Man would be there was the only way to get the two of them out together. It was as such that Break Man, Mega Man, Roll, and Bass were loitering in the city, disguised as humans. They didn't have anywhere in particular to be or anything in particular to do.

It was hard to say who was more surprised when they ran into the former-commander Stohn— him, or the group of robots. Even out of his special armor, they recognized him… and remarkably, he knew who they were. As far as Mega Man and Break Man were concerned, it was obvious, he'd seen pictures of Mega Man out of uniform. He'd met Roll when he had visited Dr. Light's lab. With Bass it was easy enough to put two and two together.

"_You_— it's your fault Wily—" Bass said.

"What?" asked Stohn.

Break Man put a hand on the Bass's shoulder. "No. Be reasonable. Zero was going to do what he did, whether he could put it into words or not."

He growled but didn't argue, because he knew Break Man was right.

"So," Mega Man said. "Er, are you still…"

"Formally discharged. It's just 'Mr. Stohn' now." His eyes narrowed as he focused his gaze on Bass, although he continued to address Mega Man. "Make no mistake, I'm still dedicated to my mission."

Mega Man found himself stepping in front of Stohn. "Leave him alone. Dr. Wily is dead. Bass was reprogrammed by Dr. Cossack."

"For 'good'?"

"Eh… for 'less evil'," said Roll.

"If we were doing moral alignments, I'd definitely say 'chaotic neutral'," Break Man said with a smirk.

"_Hey_." At first Bass protested, but then he shrugged. "…Actually that sounds about right."

Stohn sighed. "Dr. Wily was a major problem, but the scope is much bigger than Wily. Bigger than the four of you. This is not about good or evil, it's about survival of the fittest, and you know that."

"Yeah, yeah." Bass was not impressed by Stohn. "Your 'thinking robot revolution' came and went, buddy, and I kicked his butt."

"You did _not_ beat Zero," Mega Man argued.

Stohn looked confused.

"I take it the netnews left out the salient details on Wily's death. This 'Zero'…"

"Don't ask," said Break Man and Mega Man simultaneously.

"Doesn't matter, 'cause I whipped the paint off him," insisted Bass.

Mega Man slapped his forehead and groaned. Break Man nodded from Bass to Mega Man, and his younger brother got the gist of it. Grabbing Bass by the arm, he started dragging him away. For a split-second it seemed like the Wily 'bot was going to fight back, but then he decided he wasn't invested in the conversation with Stohn, and went along.

Roll smiled sweetly and started walking backwards, keeping her eyes fixed on Stohn. "It's a good thing that Rock's a bigger man than you," she said, voice dripping with insincerity. Then she offered a mock-salute, only to follow it with a less appropriate gesture, a rude habit she'd picked up from… well, there was only one person she'd get that sort of thing from. After a few steps she spun on her heel and skipped after Mega Man and Bass.

Stohn watched in silence, his feet planted on the ground but his head moving as he tracked the three of them. A whistle from Break Man, standing before him with arms crossed, brought his attention back.

"Let's just say that we appreciate your concerns, and you're not wrong. Lucky for you— lucky for all of us— this world is under Mega Man's protection." A smirk played across Break Man's lips. "And you know what? As long as Mega Man is around to protect it, I guaran-damn-tee you that humanity is going to be okay."

They stood and stared at each other for a moment, then finally Stohn gave him a curt nod. It wasn't as if Break Man's little speech had somehow won him over, but he already knew Mega Man would do his best to prevent the disastrous future that he believed would inevitably rear its ugly head.

Break Man started to walk away, when he froze midstep. "By the way. Bass might have overstated his role in preventing the apocalypse, but he still fought on our side. On humanity's side."

He didn't wait for Stohn's response, leaving the fanatic behind as he hurried to catch up with his family.

* * *

\- A/N: Commander Stohn © Mandi Paugh

\- The last time they met, Bass tried to attack Stohn twice, so there's some bad blood there.


	13. In the Family Way

**13: In the Family Way**

\- A/N: This is a time skip. It doesn't spoil anything for Downshift, but I can't say exactly when it takes place yet (because I haven't 100% decided).

* * *

"I don't get it. You're happy, even though she cheated on you?"

Desirée laughed, while Giertz shook her head.

"She didn't cheat, it's our baby."

"But… human females can't…?" Bass drifted off, staring in bewilderment.

"We used a donor," Desirée said.

"A 'donor'. Right." It was clear he hadn't the slightest idea what that meant, but the gears were turning. "Well in that case… um, good luck with it."

"'Congratulations', maybe?" Giertz said, prompting him.

"Okay. Congrats, you two." Then understanding dawned, followed by a creeping horror. "Uuuugghhh, wait, I think I get it. But how do they—? Wouldn't that—? Did it hurt?"

This time Desirée laughed even harder. "No, silly."

He wasn't convinced, but didn't argue, because the last thing he wanted was more details on the whole sordid affair. Bass watched them uneasily for a few moments before he caved and started a rambling diatribe.

"I don't understand why _anyone_ would _ever_ voluntarily allow this to happen to them. Do you know what that parasite is going to do to your body?"

"Please don't call our unborn child a parasite," said Giertz.

"But it IS! They all are. You'd understand if you had any objectivity— right now your brain is pumping out all kinds of hormones just to keep you complaisant. If it weren't for that, the human race would've died out a long time ago."

"Awww." Desirée offered a kind smile as she patted his arm. "Don't you have any appreciation for the miracle of life?"

"Tch. 'Miracle'." He scoffed. "Think about it Dee. The fact that the body reacts to pregnancy with daily vomiting, as if poisoned? _That's the hint_. Your legs will swell, your pelvic bones will loosen, your skin will scar. Then, when you violently eject that thing from your womb, you'll—"

"Oh my god, Bass. That's enough." Giertz facepalmed. How he knew all of this, she didn't dare ask.

"And then," said Desirée, "when it's all said and done, I'll be holding a precious, tiny little person; a real, live, brand new human being."

It didn't get the reaction she expected. He looked stung. "Was— was that a dig?"

"What? No! Of course not!"

At that point Giertz smacked him upside the head. It was for demonstration purposes only: Bass had tactile senses now but there was no chance of her actually hurting him. If anything, her hand smarted from striking barely cushioned metal.

"Excuse you! So what if it was? You just accused Des of being a cheater and then called our baby a parasite. _You_ don't get to call out anyone else for being insensitive, or sulk around like a… a… ahh… wait." Her eyebrows furrowed. "Wait. Are you jealous?"

"No. No. Absolutely not. I just think everything to do with reproduction is completely disgusting. Because _it's completely disgusting_."

Desirée's eyes lit up in amusement as she covered her mouth, her hand doing little to hide her smile. "Oh my goodness, he is."

"Am not! Jeez! Why would I— ugh, no. Just no."

Bass ended up spending less and less time with them as the months went by, and started outright avoiding Desirée when she entered the third trimester. He probably was jealous but he was also genuinely grossed out by the whole process. It hurt her feelings a little, but with the due date getting ever closer, she was too busy preparing for the new baby to really dwell on it.

Then one cool, crisp autumn day, they welcomed Suna into the world.

The next few months were a blur of sleepless nights, diaper changes, figuring out how to use a pump, realizing those cute expensive outfits were too difficult to put on and only fit for a week or two before baby outgrew them. Desirée and Karen struggled through that rough period where new parents question their sanity and some part of them loathes the shrieking monstrosity that has disrupted their lives.

Suna was nearly three months old when Bass finally dropped in to see her. At that point she was past the squashed, crusty red-purple newborn stage, and the melanin in her skin had developed into a warm tawny color. Only they were having trouble keeping her weight up, so she lacked the pleasing plumpness of baby-fat, and her ears stuck out like cup handles, and she had a bad case of 'little old man face'.

"No offense, but it's kind of ugly," Bass observed.

"Offense taken!" Giertz said. "Offense very much taken. First of all— 'her' not 'it'! Cripes… And that is the kind of thing you can think but you had better keep to yourself."

Even Desirée scowled at him over that one. "Don't you ever have anything nice to say?"

He blinked in surprise.

"Yeah? You guys are gonna be great parents, and that's all that matters."

To their surprise, Giertz— raw from the emotional turbulence and serious sleep deprivation— burst into tears. She reached over and hugged Bass, who squirmed out of her grasp.

"Did you want to hold her?" Desirée asked.

"No, I'm good."

The next time he visited, one of the grandmothers was there. Her graying hair was the same ashy-blonde as Karen's, and she had the same hazel eyes.

"Mrs. Giertz?"

"Oh great, more robots." Only visiting, her New Zealand accent was much heavier.

Bass was dressed casually, and wasn't sure how she knew, aside from having evidently already met Break Man and maybe Mega Man or Roll. He gave her a dirty look.

She seemed confused. "You _are_ a robot, right?"

"Sure am, and you're lucky I'm physically incapable of spitting on you."

"I beg your pardon?"

Giertz was there in an instant, attempting to herd the irate Wily 'bot away. "What? What do you think you're doing, eh?"

He glanced at her, then went back to glaring at her mother.

"No, wait. You can help me by not helping me, understand?"

But self-control was never his strong suit, and 'bad parent' was a real hot button issue.

"Listen, you old goat," he said to Giertz's mother, pushing past Karen herself. "Wily may have been a mean, back-stabbing, miserable jerk. There were countless times he betrayed me," conveniently leaving out all the times that he'd betrayed Wily, "he said all kinds of hateful things," so had Bass, "he used to— to violate my cognitive liberty," there was no excusing that, "and he was never satisfied no matter what I did." In Wily's defense, Bass had willfully refused to do the one task he'd been built for. "But even if he was a snake, he still never _ditched_ me." Threatened, yes, but they were always empty threats.

Mrs. Giertz gave her daughter-in-law Desirée a slightly panicked look. "'Wily' as in Dr. Wily?" she hissed.

Desirée shrugged her free shoulder and smirked while she continued patting Suna's back.

"Same thing goes for Oma. She'll be the first to tell you she was a lousy mother, but even when Wily kept trying to take over the world, pulling one stupid plot after another… she didn't abandon him either." This was overly generous. The only reason Ingrid Wily hadn't disowned her son was because he'd cut all family ties first. Except Bass liked Ingrid, so he gave her a completely unreasonable benefit of the doubt.

"…I'm not going to sit here and be judged by a robot."

"If you think—!"

Out of anger and habit Bass had formed a cannon, and although he hadn't aimed it at anything or anyone, Giertz was pounding on his chest and screaming. The noise woke Suna, who started to cry.

"_NO!_ NO! WEAPONS! IN! THE! HOUSE!"

He recalled it instantly and stood there for a few seconds, ashamed and looking like a whipped dog. Giertz was furious— and worse, thoroughly disappointed, and her mother terrified, and Desirée's expression unreadable. The baby was shrieking. Bass realized he'd messed up in a way he'd never messed up before, and teleported.

* * *

\- A/N: A Mega Man Fully Charged character? In _my_ Mandi-'verse fic?  
(I've got to stop using that shtick, but… nope.)  
(In Fully Charged, Suna is Dr. Light's flesh-and-blood daughter. A part of me is like: 'Sooo, who's the donor?' The other part of me is like: 'NO.' This is what happens when you get cute with your cameos.)

\- "When you violently eject that thing from your womb" might be the best line I've ever written.


	14. Work in Progress

**14: Work in Progress**

\- A/N: It's a coincidence that both chapters posted this week are set in winter, but this fic has had a time skip, so it's not the _same_ winter. Right now 'Longest Way' is a year or two ahead of 'Downshift'.

* * *

After Bass left, Giertz went to comfort her mother, and Desirée continued rocking and soothing the baby until Suna had fallen back asleep. Then she gave Giertz a look that was downright maniacal.

"Babe, was I hearing things or did he say 'Oma'?"

"Good grief, Des, is that what you got from that?"

"You know me better— of course I understand the gravity of the situation. It's just… seriously. There's a grandmother involved? He actually _calls her Oma?_"

Giertz shook her head in disbelief.

Hours later, when things were quiet, and Mrs. Giertz had the baby while Desirée took a nap, Giertz sent Bass a message over the com chat. A few minutes later she threw on her coat and gloves, hopped into the hovercar, and headed for the outskirts of town.

Bass was waiting— loitering, really— at an empty construction site, were the work was halted because of the weather. He was in his armor this time, which gave a pretty good indication of where he was emotionally.

Neither said anything as she approached. She stood there for a moment with arms crossed, before Bass spoke.

"Sorry. That was stupid, and I was really ticked, and— I'm sorry."

She chuckled dryly. "Wow, _two_ 'sorry's? You must feel like a heel." There was no sarcasm, Giertz knew he was usually reluctant to accept blame and apologize.

"Giertz—"

"Apology accepted, dummy. I'm still very disappointed, and to be honest, I'll probably be mad for a few days."

"Okay."

"Of course Des forgives you, and she's dying to know all about this 'Oma' character."

"She asked me to call her that," he said quickly. "It wasn't my idea."

"Look— Bass. Come over here so we can sit down." With that, Giertz turned and walked over to a low stone wall. It was freezing, hard, and really uncomfortable. She quietly studied him as he sat next to her. "You know that me and Des care about you, right?"

He nodded hesitantly, very self-conscious about this topic.

"And I understand— you probably have a lot of different feelings about all this… It's just…" She sighed. "We have a daughter now. It doesn't change how we feel towards you, but Suna is our number one priority."

"I get it."

"The last thing we want is for you to feel like you're unwelcome… but at the same time, we can't let anything happen to Suna. If we— if I think that you pose a risk, that you might be dangerous…"

"I'm a combat robot Giertz, of course I'm dangerous," Bass said, disgusted. "Look, I don't like babies. But that little brat belongs to _you and Dee_. I would die before letting anything hurt her."

She smiled at him. "Good. Me too."

"…Do you think I should talk to Dr. Cossack about— about making some kind of adjustment to—"

"Nah," she said, interrupting him. "That's not something you need reprogrammed, you just have to keep working on your temper, and being more patient. Figure out how to work through your feelings _without_ blowing a gasket. Maybe don't let little things get to you so much."

"I guess."

They sat in silence. After a minute or two, Giertz cautiously placed a hand on his knee.

"There's something else I want to talk about, yeh?" When he didn't reply, she continued. "I want to talk about what you said earlier, about Wily 'violating your cognitive liberty'." She had enough knowledge in robotics to make an educated guess about what he'd meant by that. That it had come up now, with everything that was going on... it had set off alarms in her head.

"That was a long time ago," he replied, instantly dismissive.

Giertz reached down and rolled up her pants leg. "When I was a little kid I climbed up a chair and fell, busted my leg open. I don't even remember it happening." On her calf was a three-inch long, puffy scar. "Thirty years later and there's still a mark."

"I know what you're trying to say, but it wasn't— Wily wasn't trying to— He stopped when he realized… well anyway, it's not like it hurt. I'm just annoyed that he didn't apologize."

She took in a deep breath. "As a human I can't know what it's like to have someone else in my head, but I imagine that it must've been terrifying, and an unbelievable breach trust, for—"

"Giertz. I don't want to talk about this."

"Okay, that's alright." After a brief pause, she continued. "It would mean a lot to me if you did. I really think it will help, like with all the stuff that happened with Zero." _That_ had taken a momentous amount of coaxing on her part, and she never got any specifics, although apparently Break Man'd had better success there. "If you're not comfortable talking to me— and that's perfectly fine— then maybe you can talk to Break Man. Or Dr. Cossack, Dr. Light, or even Sarge."

"Sergeant Jahveri?"

"Yeh, you know, before he was in the tac division, he… er… He's helped people who— who also had a breach of trust."

"Hmm."

They sat in silence for another minute before Giertz slid off of the wall. "I'm freezing my buns off here, sorry. You should steer clear until mum leaves, I'll let you know when she heads back home."

"Sure."

"Think about it, will you?"

He pulled a face, but then shrugged. "I'll think about it."

On the way back to the car she realized she'd have to put a bug in Break Man's ear— maybe Dr. Cossack's, too— because with Suna now she just didn't have the bandwidth to follow up on this.

Also, that she needed to commend Dr. Cossack, because even a year or two ago there'd have been no way Bass would've apologized so quickly and sincerely.

…and that she found herself appreciating her own parents a little more. Their fall out had been truly terrible, one of the most painful things she'd ever experienced, but all things considered Giertz would take that over Dr. Wily any day.

That said, on some level, seeing Bass scare the bejeezus out of her mum had been immensely satisfying.

* * *

\- A/N: It's possible this will be continued in the future, I have some nebulous ideas that will hopefully come to fruition. Until then... thanks for reading!


End file.
